How to shoot yourself in the
foot based on your faction/affiliation
Cousin: Uncle orders you to shoot yourself in the foot for his entertainment, and of course, you comply.
Knightie: You are buried somewhere inside a pile of hugging bodies and someone accidentally shoots you in the foot. No one has a klew as to who did it so they all shoot themselves in the foot for compensation.
NatPacker: You go to the morgue and intentionally shoot yourself in the foot for the sheer scientific challenge of finding the cure. You tell everyone a cousin did it.
Ravenette: You’ve read in a fashion magazine that a shot through the foot is trendy, and hence…
Vaquera/Vaquero: You can shoot straight, you want to shoot straight, but someone’s long oily hair is obscuring-ly in your face and your foot gets it.
Ratpacker: All you can remember is that you were drunk in a sewer, there were a few other drunken sailors around you, you were shouting, singing and dancing, and a few harmless shots were fired.
Die-hard/independent: You have shot yourself in the foot, but you refuse to seek help from anyone.
Merc: You are hired to shoot someone in the foot. Later you find out that it is a certain Roman general. Too late you find out that it was probably not the best idea to accept this particular job. Next day, you are in a hospital with an injured foot.
Nunkies anonymous:
It’s a new ritual: Listen to CERK, sing a silly song, kiss Nunkies’ picture,
and shoot yourself in the foot.
N&Npacker: You feel bummed. For the thousandth time Nick and Nat have a romantic night together, but go their own ways the next morning, just because ‘there is no way for him to be with her without risking her life’. You scream ‘Damn fanfiction writers’ and take up the gun.
Enforcer: You accidentally break the Code and must shoot yourself in the foot for penalty.
FoDs: You’re in a souvlaki deli where some people are dancing polka while others shoot at their feet. You’re the next in line to dance.
Perkulator: There are no bullets in your foot sweetheart, really. That’s just a coffee stain on your pink sneakers.
UFfer: Honey, wine, candlelight, sandalwood, body heat, gun, shot, foot, ouch…
Caddywhack: You’ve wrecked the car and know that the owner will most likely kill you. So you shoot yourself in the foot and put the blame for both damages on Mafia.
Lurker: You shoot yourself in the foot and you bleed to death. No one notices.
Sunny